Jesus the Son of Man Page 12

they weep and I thirst.

  "I am held too high to reach their tears.

  "I will not take vinegar and gall to quench this thirst."

  Then His eyes opened wide to the sky, and He said: "Father, why hast Thou

  forsaken us?"

  And then He said in compassion, "Father, forgive them, for they know not

  what they do."

  When He uttered these words methought I saw all men prostrated before God

  beseeching forgiveness for the crucifixion of this one man.

  Then again He said with a great voice "Father, into Thy hand I yield back

  my spirit."

  And at last He lifted up His head and said, "Now it is finished, but only

  upon this hill."

  And He closed His eyes.

  Then lightning cracked the dark skies, and there was a great thunder.

  I know now that those who slew Him in my stead achieved my endless

  torment.

  His crucifixion endured but for an hour.

  But I shall be crucified unto the end of my years.

  CLAUDIUS

  A ROMAN SENTINEL

  AFTER HE WAS TAKEN, THEY ENTRUSTED HIM TO ME.

  And I was ordered by Pontius Pilatus to keep Him in custody until the

  following morning.

  My soldiers led Him prisoner, and He was obedient to them.

  At midnight I left my wife and children and visited the arsenal. It was

  my habit to go about and see that all was well with my battalions in

  Jerusalem; and that night I visited the arsenal where He was held.

  My soldiers and some of the young Jews were making sport of Him. They had

  stripped Him of His garment, and they had put a crown of last year's

  brier-thorns upon His head.

  They had seated Him against a pillar, and they were dancing and shouting

  before Him.

  And they had given Him a reed to hold in His hand.

  As I entered someone shouted: "Behold, O Captain, the King of the Jews."

  I stood before Him and looked at Him, and I was ashamed. I knew not why.

  I had fought in Gallia and in pain, an with my men I had faced death. Yet

  never had I been in fear, nor been a coward. But when I stood before that

  man and He looked at me I lost heart. It seemed as though my lips were

  sealed, and I could utter no word.

  And straightway I left the arsenal.

  This chanced thirty years ago. My sons who were babes then are men now.

  And they are serving Caesar and Rome.

  But often in counselling them I have spoken of Him, a man facing death

  with the sap of life upon His lips, and with compassion for His slayers

  in His eyes.

  And now I am old. I have lived the years fully. And I think truly that

  neither Pompey nor Caesar was so great a commander as that Man of

  Galilee.

  For since His unresisting death an army has risen out of the earth to

  fight for Him.... And He is better served by them, though dead, than ever

  Pompey or Caesar was served, though living.

  JAMES THE BROTHER OF

  THE LORD

  THE LAST SUPPER

  A THOUSAND TIMES I HAVE BEEN VISITED BY THE MEMORY

  of that night. And I know now that I shall be visited a thousand times

  again.

  The earth shall forget the furrows ploughed upon her breast, and a woman

  the pain and joy of childbirth, ere I shall forget that night.

  In the afternoon we had been outside the walls of Jerusalem, and Jesus

  had said, "Let us go into the city now and take supper at the inn."

  It was dark when we reached the inn, and we were hungry. The innkeeper

  greeted us and led us to an upper chamber.

  And Jesus bade us sit around the board, but He Himself remained standing,

  and His eyes rested upon us.

  And He spoke to the keeper of the inn and said, "Bring me a basin and a

  pitcher full of water, and a towel."

  And He looked at us again and said gently, Cast off your sandals."

  We did not understand, but at His command we cast them off.

  Then the keeper of the inn brought the basin and the pitcher; and Jesus

  said, "Now I will wash your feet. For I must needs free your feet from

  the dust of the ancient road, and give them the freedom of the new way."

  And we were all abashed and shy.

  Then Simon Peter stood up and said: "How shall I suffer my Master and my

  Lord to wash my feet?"

  And Jesus answered, "I will wash your feet that you may remember that he

  who serves men shall be the greatest among men."

  Then He looked at each one of us and He said:

  The Son of Man who has chosen you for His brethren, He whose feet were

  anointed yesterday with myrrh of Arabia and dried with a woman's hair,

  desires now to wash your feet."

  And He took the basin and the pitcher and kneeled down and washed our

  feet, beginning with Judas Iscariot.

  Then He sat down with us at the board; and His face was like the dawn

  rising upon a battlefield after a night of strife and blood-shedding.

  And the keeper of the inn came with his wife, bringing food and wine.

  And though I had been hungry before Jesus knelt at my feet, now I had no

  stomach for food. And there was a flame in my throat which I would not

  quench with wine.

  Then Jesus took a loaf of bread and gave to us, saying, "Perhaps we shall

  not break bread again. Let us eat this morsel in remembrance of our days

  in Galilee."

  And He poured wine from the jug into a cup, and He drank, and gave to us,

  and He said, "Drink this in remembrance of a thirst we have known

  together. And drink it also in hope for the new vintage. When I am

  enfolded and am no more among you, and when you meet here or elsewhere,

  break the bread and pour the wine, and eat and drink even as you are

  doing now. Then look about you; and perchance you may see me sitting with

  you at the board."

  After saying this He began to distribute among us morsels of fish and

  pheasant, like a bird feeding its fledglings.

  We ate little yet we were filled; and we drank but a drop, for we felt

  that the cup was like a space between this land and another land.

  Then Jesus said, "Ere we leave this board let us rise and sing the joyous

  hymns of Galilee."

  And we rose and sang together, and His voice was above our voices, and

  there was a ringing in every word of His words.

  And He looked at our faces, each and every one, and He said, "Now I bid

  you farewell. Let us go beyond these walls. Let us go unto Gethsemane."

  And John the son of Zebedee said, "Master, why do you say farewell to us

  this night?"

  And Jesus said, "Let not your heart be troubled. I only leave you to

  prepare a place for you in my Father's house. But if you shall be in need

  of me, I will come back to you. Where you call me, there I shall hear

  you, and wherever your spirit shall seek me, there I will be.

  "Forget not that thirst leads to the winepress, and hunger to the

  wedding-feast.

  "It is in your longing that you shall find the Son of Man. For longing is

  the fountain-head of ecstasy, and it is the path to the Father."

  And John spoke again and said, "If you would indeed leave us, how shall

  we be of good cheer? And why speak you of separation?"

  And Jesus said, "The hunted stag knows the arrow of
the hunter before he

  feels it in his breast; and the river is aware of the sea ere it comes to

  her shore. And the Son of Man has travelled the ways of men.

  "Before another almond tree renders her blossoms to the sun, my roots

  shall be reaching into the heart of another field."

  Then Simon Peter said: "Master, leave us not now, and deny us not the joy

  of your presence. Where you go we too will go; and wherever you abide

  there we will be also."

  And Jesus put His hand upon Simon Peter's shoulder, and smiled upon him,

  and He said, "Who knows but that you may deny me before this night is

  over, and leave me before I leave you?"

  Then of a sudden He said, "Now let us go hence."

  And He left the inn and we followed Him. But when we reached the gate of

  the city, Judas of Iscariot was no longer with us. And we crossed the

  Valley of Jahannam. Jesus walked far ahead of us, and we walked close to

  one another.

  When He reached an, olive grove He stopped and turned towards us saying,

  "Rest here for an hour."

  The evening was cool, though it was full spring with the mulberries

  unfolding their shoots and the apple trees in bloom. And the gardens were

  sweet.

  Each one of us sought the trunk of a tree, and we lay down. I myself

  gathered my cloak around me and lay under a pine tree.

  But Jesus left us and walked by Himself in the olive grove. And I watched

  Him while the others slept.

  He would suddenly stand still, and again He would walk up and down. This

  He did many times.

  Then I saw Him lift His face towards the sky and outstretch His arms to

  cast and west.

  Once He had said, "Heaven and earth, and hell too, are of man." And now I

  remembered His saying, and I knew that He who was pacing the olive grove

  was heaven made man; and I bethought me that the womb of the earth is not

  a beginning nor an end, but rather a chariot, a pause; and a moment of

  wonder and surprise; and hell I saw also, in the valley called Jahannam,

  which lay between Him and the Holy City.

  And as He stood there and I lay wrapped in my garment, I heard His voice

  speaking. But He was not speaking to us. Thrice I heard Him pronounce the

  word FATHER. And that was all I heard.

  After a while His arms dropped down, and He stood still like a cypress

  tree between my eyes and the sky.

  At last He came over among us again, and He said to us, "Wake and rise.

  My hour has come. The world is already upon us, armed for battle."

  And then He said, "A moment ago I heard the voice of my Father. If I see

  you not again, remember that the conqueror shall not have peace until he

  is conquered."

  And when we had risen and come close to Him, His face was like the starry

  heaven above the desert.

  Then He kissed each one of us upon the cheek. And when His lips touched

  my cheek, they were hot, like the hand of a child in fever.

  Suddenly we heard a great noise in the distance, as of numbers, and when

  it came near it was a company of men approaching with lanterns and

  staves. And they came in haste.

  As they reached the hedge of the grove Jesus left us and went forth to

  meet them. And Judas of Iscariot was leading them.

  There were Roman soldiers with swords and spears, and men of Jerusalem

  with clubs and pickaxes.

  And Judas came up to Jesus and kissed Him. And then he said to the armed

  men, "This is the Man."

  And Jesus said to Judas, "Judas, you were patient with me. This could

  have been yesterday."

  Then He turned to the armed men and said: "Take me now. But see that your

  cage is large enough for these wings."

  Then they fell upon Him and held Him, and they were all shouting.

  But we in our fear ran away and sought to escape. I ran alone through the

  olive groves, nor had I power to be mindful, nor did any voice speak in

  me except my fear.

  Through the two or three hours that remained of that night I was fleeing

  and hiding, and at dawn I found myself in a village near Jericho.

  Why had I left Him? I do not know. But to my sorrow I did leave Him. I

  was a coward and I fled from the face of His enemies.

  Then I was sick and ashamed at heart, and I returned to Jerusalem, but He

  was a prisoner, and no friend could have speech with Him.

  He was crucified, and His blood has made new clay of the earth.

  And I am living still; I am living upon the honeycomb of His sweet life.

  SIMON THE CYRENE

  I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE FIELDS WHEN I SAW Him carrying His cross; and

  multitudes were following Him.

  Then I too walked beside Him.

  His burden stopped Him many a time, for His body was exhausted.

  Then a Roman soldier approached me, saying,

  Come, you are strong and firm built; carry the cross of this man."

  When I heard these words my heart swelled within me and I was grateful.

  And I carried His cross.

  It was heavy, for it was made of poplar soaked through with the rains of

  winter.

  And Jesus looked at me. And the sweat of His forehead was running down

  upon His beard.

  Again He looked at me and He said, "Do you too drink this cup? You shall

  indeed sip its rim with me to the end of time."

  So saying He placed His hand upon my free shoulder. And we walked

  together towards the Hill of the Skull.

  But now I felt not the weight of the cross. I felt only His hand. And it

  was like the wing of a bird upon my shoulder.

  Then we reached the hill top, and there they were to crucify Him.

  And then I felt the weight of the tree.

  He uttered no word when they drove the nails into His hands and feet, nor

  made He any sound.

  And His limbs did not quiver under the hammer.

  It seemed as if His hands and feet had died and would only live again

  when bathed in blood. Yet it seemed also as if He sought the nails as the

  prince would seek the sceptre; and that He craved to be raised to the

  heights.

  And my heart did not think to pity Him, for I was too filled with wonder.

  Now, the man whose cross I carried has become my cross.

  Should they say to me again, "Carry the cross of this man," I would carry

  it till my road ended at the grave.

  But I would beg Him to place His hand upon my shoulder.

  This happened many years ago; and still whenever I follow the furrow in

  the field, and in that drowsy moment before sleep, I think always of

  that. Beloved Man.

  And I feel His winged hand, here, on my left shoulder.

  CYBOREA

  THE MOTHER OF JUDAS

  MY SON WAS A GOOD MAN AND UPRIGHT. HE WAS TENDER

  and kind to me, and he loved his kin and his countrymen. And he hated our

  enemies, the cursed Romans, who wear purple cloth though they spin no

  thread nor sit at any loom; and who reap and gather where they have not

  ploughed nor sowed the seed.

  My son was but seventeen when he was caught shooting arrows at the Roman

  legion passing through our vineyard.

  Even at that age he would speak to the other youths of the glory of

  Israel, and he would utter many strange thin
gs that I did not understand.

  He was my son, my only son.

  He drank life from these breasts now dry, and he took his first steps in

  this garden, grasping these fingers that are now like trembling reeds.

  With these selfsame hands, young and fresh then like the grapes of

  Lebanon, I put away his first sandals in a linen kerchief that my mother

  had given me. I still keep them there in that chest, beside the window.

  He was my first-born, and when he took his first step, I too took my

  first step. For women travel not save when led by their children.

  And now they tell me he is dead by his own hand; that he flung himself

  from the High Rock in remorse because he had betrayed his friend Jesus of

  Nazareth.

  I know my son is dead. But I know he betrayed no one; for he loved his

  kin and hated none but the Romans.

  My son sought the glory of Israel, and naught but that glory was upon his

  lips and in his deeds.

  When he met Jesus on the highway he left me to follow Him. And in my

  heart I knew that he was wrong to follow any man.

  When he bade me farewell I told him that he was wrong, but he listened

  not.

  Our children do not heed us; like the high tide of today, they take no

  counsel with the high tide of yesterday.

  I beg you question me no further about my son.

  I loved him and I shall love him forevermore.

  If love were in the flesh I would burn it out with hot irons and be at

  peace. But it is in the soul, unreachable.

  And now I would speak no more. Go question another woman more honored

  than the mother of Judas.

  Go to the mother of Jesus. The sword is in her heart also; she will tell

  you of me, and you will understand.

  THE WOMAN OF BYBLOS

  A LAMENTATION

  WEEP WITH ME, YE DAUGHTERS OF ASH TARTE,

  and all ye lovers of Tamouz.

  Bid your heart melt and rise and run blood-tears,

  For He who was made of gold and ivory is no more.

  In the dark forest the boar overcame Him,

  And the tusks of the boar pierced His flesh.

  Now He lies stained with the leaves of yesteryear,

  And no longer shall His footsteps wake the seeds that sleep in

  the bosom of spring.

  His voice will not come with the dawn to my window,

  And I shall be forever alone.

  Weep with me, ye daughters of Ashtarte, and all ye lovers of Tamouz,

  For my Beloved has escaped me;

  He who spoke as the rivers speak;

  He whose voice and time were twins;

  He whose mouth was a red pain made sweet;

  He on whose lips gall would turn to honey.

  Weep with me, daughters of Ashtarte, and ye lovers of Tamouz.

  Weep with me around His bier as the stars weep,

  And as the moon-petals fall upon His wounded body.

  Wet with your tears the silken covers of my bed,

  Where my Beloved once lay in my dream,

  And was gone away in my awakening.

  I charge ye, daughters of Ashtarte, and all ye lovers of Tamouz,

  Bare your breasts and weep and comfort me,

  For Jesus of Nazareth is dead.

  MARY MAGDALEN

  THIRTY YEARS LATER

  ONCE AGAIN I SAY THAT WITH DEATH JESUS CONQUERED

  death, and rose from the grave a spirit and a power. And He walked in our

  solitude and visited the gardens of our passion.

  He lies not there in that cleft rock behind the stone.

  We who love Him beheld Him with these our eyes which He made to see; and

  we touched Him with these our hands which He taught to reach forth.