Jesus the Son of Man Page 11

and the linen.

  But He would have none tear an inch off the woven fabric.

  PILATE'S WIFE TO A ROMAN LADY

  I WAS WALKING WITH MY MAIDENS IN THE GROVES

  outside of Jerusalem when I saw Him with a few men and women sitting

  about Him; and He was speaking to them in a language which I only half

  understood.

  But one needs not a language to perceive a pillar of light or a mountain

  of crystal. The heart knows what the tongue may never utter and the ears

  may never hear.

  He was speaking to His friends of love and strength. I know He spoke of

  love because there was melody in His voice; and I know He spoke of

  strength because there were armies in His gestures. And He was tender,

  though even my husband could not have spoken with such authority.

  When He saw me passing by He stopped speaking for a moment and looked

  kindly upon me. And I was humbled; and in my soul I knew I had passed by

  a god.

  After that day His image visited my privacy when I would not be visited

  by man or woman; and His eyes searched my soul when my own eyes were

  closed. And His voice governs the stillness of my nights.

  I am held fast forevermore; and there is peace in my pain, and freedom in

  my tears.

  Beloved friend, you have never seen that man, and you will never see Him.

  He is gone beyond our senses, but of all men He is now the nearest to me.

  A MAN OUTSIDE OF JERUSALEM

  OF JUDAS

  JUDAS CAME TO MY HOUSE THAT FRIDAY, UPON THE EVE

  of the passover; and he knocked at my door with force.

  When he entered I looked at him, and his face was ashen. His hands

  trembled like dry twigs in the wind, and his clothes were as wet as if he

  had stepped out from a river; for on that evening there were great

  tempests.

  He looked at me, and the sockets of his eyes were like dark caves and his

  eyes were blood-sodden.

  And he said, "I have delivered Jesus of Nazareth to His enemies and to my

  enemies."

  Then Judas wrung his hands and he said, "Jesus declared that He would

  overcome all His foes and the foes of our people. And I believed and I

  followed Him.

  "When first He called us to Him He promised us a kingdom mighty and vast,

  and in our faith we sought His favor that we might have honorable

  stations in His court.

  "We beheld ourselves princes dealing with these Romans as they have dealt

  with us. And Jesus said much about His kingdom, and I thought He had

  chosen me a captain of His chariots, and a chief man of His warriors. And

  I followed His footsteps willingly.

  "But I found it was not a kingdom that Jesus sought, nor was it from the

  Romans He would have had us free. His kingdom was but the kingdom of the

  heart. I heard Him talk of love and charity and forgiveness, and the

  wayside women listened gladly, but my heart grew bitter and I was

  hardened.

  "My promised king of Judea seemed suddenly to have turned flute-player,

  to soothe the mind of wanderers and vagabonds.

  "I had loved Him as others of my tribe had loved Him. I had beheld in Him

  a hope and a deliverance from the yoke of the aliens. But when He would

  not utter a word or move a hand to free us from that yoke, and when He

  would even have rendered unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, then despair

  filled me and my hopes died. And I said, 'He who murders my hopes shall

  be murdered, for my hopes and expectations are more precious than the

  life of any man.'"

  Then Judas gnashed his teeth; and he bent down his head. And when he

  spoke again, he said, "I have delivered Him up. And He was crucified this

  day.... Yet when He died upon the cross, He died a king. He died in the

  tempest as deliverers die, like vast men who live beyond the shroud and

  the stone.

  "And all the while He was dying, He was gracious, and He was kindly; and

  His heart was full of pity. He felt pity even for me who had delivered

  Him up."

  And I said, "Judas, you have committed a grave wrong."

  And Judas answered, "But He died a king. Why did He not live a king?"

  And I said again, "You have committed a grave crime."

  And he sat down there, upon that bench, and he was as still as a stone.

  But I walked to and fro in the room, and once more I said, "You have

  committed a great sin."

  But Judas said not a word. He remained as silent as the earth.

  And after a while he stood up and faced me and he seemed taller, and when

  he spoke his voice was like the sound of a cracked vessel; and he said,

  "Sin was not in my heart. This very night I shall seek His kingdom, and I

  shall stand in His presence and beg His forgiveness.

  "He died a king, and I shall die a felon. But in my heart I know He will

  forgive me."

  After saying these words he folded his wet cloak around him and he said,

  " It was good that I came to you this night even though I have brought

  you trouble. Will you also forgive me?

  "Say to your sons and to your sons' sons: 'Judas Iscariot delivered Jesus

  of Nazareth to His enemies because he believed Jesus was an enemy to His

  own race.'

  "And say also that Judas upon the selfsame day of his great error

  followed the King to the steps of His throne to deliver up his own soul

  and to be judged.

  "I shall tell Him that my blood also was impatient for the sod, and my

  crippled spirit would be free."

  Then Judas leaned his head back against the wall and he cried out, "O God

  whose dreaded name no man shall utter ere his lips are touched by the

  fingers of death, why did you burn me with a fire that had no light?

  "Why did you give the Galilean a passion for a land unknown and burden me

  with desire that would not escape kin or hearth? And who is this man

  Judas, whose hands are dipped in blood?

  "Lend me a hand to cast him off, an old garment and a tattered harness.

  "Help me to do this tonight.

  "And let me stand again outside of these walls.

  "I am weary of this wingless liberty. I would a larger dungeon.

  "I would flow a stream of tears to the bitter sea. I would be a man of

  your mercy rather than one knocking at the gate of his own heart."

  Thus Judas spoke, and thereupon he opened the door and went out again

  into the tempest.

  Three days afterwards I visited Jerusalem and heard of all that had come

  to pass. And I also heard that Judas had flung himself from the summit of

  the High Rock.

  I have pondered long since that day, and I understand Judas. He fulfilled

  his little life, which hovered like a mist on this land enslaved by the

  Romans, while the great prophet was ascending the heights.

  One man longed for a kingdom in which he was to be a prince.

  Another man desired a kingdom in which all men shall be princes.

  SARKIS

  AN OLD GREEK SHEPHERD

  CALLED THE MADMAN

  IN A DREAM I SAW JESUS AND MY GOD PAN SITTING

  together in the heart of the forest.

  They laughed at each other's speech, with the brook that ran near them,

  and the laughter of Jesus was the merrier. And they conversed long.

&n
bsp; Pan spoke of earth and her secrets, and of his hoofed brothers and his

  horned sisters; and of dreams. And he spoke of roots and their nestlings,

  and of the sap that wakes and rises and sings to summer.

  And Jesus told of the young shoots in the forest, and of flowers and

  fruit, and the seed that they shall bear in a season not yet come.

  He spoke of birds in space and their singing in the upper world.

  And He told of white harts in the desert wherein God shepherds them.

  And Pan was pleased with the speech of the new God, and his nostrils

  quivered.

  And in the same dream I beheld Pan and Jesus grow quiet and still in the

  stillness of the green shadows.

  And then Pan took his reeds and played to Jesus.

  The trees were shaken and the ferns trembled, and there was a fear upon

  me.

  And Jesus said, "Good brother, you have the glade and the rocky height in

  your reeds."

  Then Pan gave the reeds to Jesus and said, "You play now. It is your

  turn."

  And Jesus said, "These reeds are too many for my mouth. I have this

  flute."

  And He took His flute and He played.

  And I heard the sound of rain in the leaves, and the singing of streams

  among the hills, and the falling of snow on the mountain-top.

  The pulse of my heart, that had once beaten with the wind, was restored

  again to the wind, and all the waves of my yesterdays were upon my shore,

  and I was again Sarkis the shepherd, and the flute of Jesus became the

  pipes of countless shepherds calling to countless flocks.

  Then Pan said to Jesus, "Your youth is more kin to the reed than my

  years. And long ere this in my stillness I have heard your song and the

  murmur of your name.

  "Your name has a goodly sound; well shall it rise with the sap to the

  branches, and well shall it run with the hoofs among the hills.

  "And it is not strange to me, though my father called me not by that

  name. It was your flute that brought it back to my memory.

  "And now let us play our reeds together."

  And they played together.

  And their music smote heaven and earth, and a terror struck all living

  things.

  I heard the bellow of beasts and the hunger of the forest. And I heard

  the cry of lonely men, and the plaint of those who long for what they

  know not.

  I heard the sighing of the maiden for her lover, and the panting of the

  luckless hunter for his prey.

  And then there came peace into their music, and the heavens and the earth

  sang together.

  All this I saw in my dream, and all this I heard.

  ANNAS

  THE HIGH PRIEST

  HE WAS OF THE RABBLE, A BRIGAND, A MOUNTEBANK

  and a self-trumpeter. He appealed only to the unclean and the

  disinherited, and for this He had to go the way of all the tainted and

  the defiled.

  He made sport of us and of our laws; He mocked at our honor and jeered at

  our dignity. He even said He would destroy the temple and desecrate the

  holy places. He was shameless, and for this He had to die a shameful

  death.

  He was a man from Galilee of the Gentiles, an alien, from that North

  Country where Adonis and Ashtarte still claim power against Israel and

  the God of Israel.

  He whose tongue halted when He spoke the speech of our prophets was loud

  and ear-splitting when He spoke the bastard language of the lowborn and

  the vulgar.

  What else was there for me but to decree His death?

  Am I not a guardian of the temple? Am I not a keeper of the law? Could I

  have turned my back on Him, saying in all tranquillity: "He is a madman

  among madmen. Let Him alone to exhaust Himself raving; for the mad and

  the crazed and those possessed with devils shall be naught in the path of

  Israel"?

  Could I have been deaf unto Him when He called us liars, hypocrites,

  wolves, vipers, and the sons of vipers?

  Nay I could not be deaf to Him, for He was not a madman. He was

  self-possessed; and in His big-sounding sanity He denounced and

  challenged us all.

  For this I had Him crucified, and His crucifixion was a signal and

  warning unto the others who are stamped with the same damned seal.

  I know well I have been blamed for this, even by some of the elders in

  the Sanhedrim. But I was mindful then as I am mindful now, that one man

  should die for the people rather than the people be led astray by one

  man.

  Judea was conquered by an enemy from without. I shall see that Judea is

  not conquered again, by an enemy from within.

  No man from the cursed North shall reach our Holy of Holies nor lay His

  shadow across the Ark of the Covenant.

  A WOMAN

  ONE OF MARY'S NEIGHBORS

  ON THE FORTIETH DAY AFTER HIS DEATH, ALL THE WOMEN NEIGHBORS CAME TO THE

  HOUSE OF MARY TO CONSOLE HER AND TO SING THRENODIES.

  And one of the women sang this song:

  Whereto my Spring, whereto?

  And to what other space your perfume ascending?

  In what other fields shall you walk?

  And to what sky shall you lift up your head to speak your heart?

  These valleys shall be barren,

  And we shall have naught but dried fields and arid.

  All green things will parch in the sun,

  And our orchards will bring forth sour apples,

  And our vineyards bitter grapes.

  We shall thirst for your wine,

  And our nostrils will long for your fragrance.

  Whereto Flower of our first spring, whereto?

  And will you return no more?

  Will not your jasmine visit us again,

  And your cyclamen stand by our wayside

  To tell us that we too have our roots deep in earth,

  And that our ceaseless breath would forever climb the sky.?

  Whereto Jesus, whereto, Son of my neighbor Mary,

  And comrade to my son?

  Whither, our first Spring, and to what other fields?

  Will you return to us again?

  Will you in your love-tide visit the barren shores of our dreams?

  AHAZ THE PORTLY

  THE KEEPER OF THE INN

  WELL DO I REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I SAW JESUS THE

  Nazarene. Judas had come to me at the noon hour of that Thursday, and

  bidden me prepare supper for Jesus and His friends.

  He gave me two silver pieces and said, "Buy all that you deem needful for

  the meal."

  And after He was gone my wife said to me,

  This is indeed a distinction." For Jesus had become a prophet and He had

  wrought many miracles.

  At twilight He came and His followers, and they sat in the upper chamber

  around the board, but they were silent and quiet.

  Last year also and the year before they had come and then they had been

  joyous. They broke the bread and drank the wine and sang our ancient

  strains; and Jesus would talk to them till midnight.

  After that they would leave Him alone in the upper chamber and go to

  sleep in other rooms; for after midnight it was His desire to be alone.

  And He would remain awake; I would hear His steps as I lay upon my bed.

  But this last time He and His friends were not happy.

  My wife had prepared
fishes from the Lake of Galilee, and pheasants from

  Houran stuffed with rice and pomegranate seeds, and I had carried them a

  jug of my cypress wine.

  And then I had left them for I felt that they wished to be alone.

  They stayed until it was full dark, and then they all descended together

  from the upper chamber, but at the foot of the stairs Jesus tarried

  awhile. And He looked at me and my wife, and He placed His hand upon the

  head of my daughter and He said, "Good night to you all. We shall come

  back again to your upper chamber, but we shall not leave you at this

  early hour. We shall stay until the sun rises above the horizon.

  "In a little while we shall return and ask for more bread and more wine.

  You and your wife have been good hosts to us, and we shall remember you

  when we come to our mansion and sit at our own board."

  And I said, "Sir, it was an honor to serve you. The other innkeepers envy

  me because of your visits, and in my pride I smile at them in the

  marketplace. Sometimes I even make a grimace."

  And He said, "All innkeepers should be proud in serving. For he who gives

  bread and wine is the brother of him who reaps and gathers the sheaves

  for the threshing-floor, and of him who crushes the grapes at the

  winepress. And you are all kindly. You give of your bounty even to those

  who come with naught but hunger and thirst."

  Then He turned to Judas Iscariot who kept the purse of the company, and

  He said, "Give me two shekels."

  And Judas gave Him two shekels saying: "These are the last silver pieces

  in my purse."

  Jesus looked at him and said, "Soon, oversoon, your purse shall be filled

  with silver."

  Then He put the two pieces into my hand and said, "With these buy a

  silken girdle for your daughter, and bid her wear it on the day of the

  passover in remembrance of me."

  And looking again into the face of my daughter, He leaned down and kissed

  her brow. And then He said once more, "Good-night to you all."

  And He walked away.

  I have been told that what He said to us has been recorded upon a

  parchment by one of His friends, but I repeat it to you even as I heard

  it from His own lips.

  Never shall I forget the sound of His voice as He said those words, "Good

  night to you all."

  If you would know more of Him, ask my daughter. She is a woman now, but

  she cherishes the memory of her girlhood. And her words are more ready

  than mine.

  BARABBAS

  THE LAST WORDS OF JESUS

  THEY RELEASED ME AND CHOSE HIM. THEN HE ROSE

  and I fell down.

  And they held Him a victim and a sacrifice for the passover.

  I was freed from my chains, and walked with the throng behind Him, but I

  was a living man going to my own grave.

  I should have fled to the desert where shame is burned out by the sun.

  Yet I walked with those who had chosen Him to bear my crime.

  When they nailed Him on His cross I stood there.

  I saw and I heard but I seemed outside of my body.

  The thief who was crucified on His right said to Him, "Are you bleeding

  with me, even you, Jesus of Nazareth?"

  And Jesus answered and said, "Were it not for this nail that stays my

  hand I would reach forth and clasp your hand.

  "We are crucified together. Would they had raised your cross nearer to

  mine."

  Then He looked down and gazed upon His mother and a young man who stood

  beside her.

  He said, "Mother, behold your son standing beside you.

  "Woman, behold a man who shall carry these drops of my blood to the North

  Country."

  And when He heard the wailing of the women of Galilee He said: "Behold,